


Hold me

by GoForGoals



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Dorks in Love, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Kissing, M/M, Neck Kissing, bravertz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-16 11:46:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21270527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoForGoals/pseuds/GoForGoals
Summary: Julian calls Kai just to hear that he is not well at all. He drives to his flat and finds him in a miserable state.





	Hold me

**Author's Note:**

> Dear readers, if you would like to read more, I have a Bravertz story in progress that will be updated soon. Please enjoy - feedback is always welcome!

"Hey Kai, how are you doing?" Julian is in a cheerful mood when he calls his best friend, driving home from a successful training session.

Kai however doesn’t sound cheerful the slightest.

"Hey Jule, I’m fine," Kai mutters in a 'I’m not fine at all'-kind of voice.

"You don’t sound like you’re feeling well," Julian answers, frowning. He knows Kai and he knows all of his little nuances. Kai’s reply was alarming, to say the least.

"I might have grabbed a cold," Kai states. To emphasize his words, he coughs into the microphone.

Julian doesn’t let Kai fool him. "You sound a bit exhausted, to be honest," he tries again.

"Might be from the cold. I’ll go to bed soon," Kai says weakly.

"You? Going to bed early? You must be really sick then." Julian’s answer was meant to be a joke but didn’t come out like one.

"Jule…" Kai hesitates, his voice dying away through the line.

"What’s up?" Julian is really alarmed now. Like in really, really alarmed.  
  
"It’s just… I don’t know." Kai doesn’t dare to utter the truth although Julian has a fair clue what he wanted to say. He steps on the brakes, takes the next exit and turns into the other direction.

"Stay awake for an hour longer, will you? I’m on my way to you."

***

Julian heads as fast to Kai’s flat as he is allowed to do. Kai’s weak voice, his attempt to tell Julian something that is apparently weighing on his mind very heavily has Julian on alert the entire drive.

Finally there, he literally runs the stairs upwards, fumbling for the key to Kai’s flat he has with him all of the time. Julian doesn’t even waste time in ringing the bell, he opens the door and storms inside the flat out of breath. "Kai, I’m here! Where are you?"

"Sofa," Kai’s exclaims strained.

"Hey," Julian says gently when he enters Kai’s living room.

Almost immediately, Kai’s eyes fill up with tears. "You really came," he whispers, standing up from his couch where he had curled himself up into a ball. They hug for a long time, with Kai clinging to Julian like to a life-line.

"Come on, tell me what’s wrong," Julian eventually urges Kai. "You’re not just having the flu, do you?"  
  
Kai shakes his head and sits down onto the sofa. "I’m just so cold," he states, shivering. "I’m so cold from the inside."

Julian nods and walks over to the kitchen. "I’ll brew us a cup of tea and then you’ll tell me what’s up. I want to hear everything." Julian starts to boil some water, rummaging through Kai’s cupboards where he finally finds some teabags. He takes several deep breaths, shocked about the state Kai is in. With two mugs of tea, he returns to the living room where Kai has crawled under a blanket again. "Here, drink that. That’ll do you good."

Kai sits up like a ghost, taking small sips of the tea. "Thank you for coming here," he mumbles.

"Always," Julian shrugs. "But you’ll have to explain to me what happened."

Kai takes another sip, hesitating. "It’s… not easy," he starts cryptically.

"I’ll try to understand," Julian promises.

"You know… our last matches," Kai starts. "I didn’t play well. I started to doubt myself and suddenly I was in this spiral… the more I’m angry about my performance, the worse it gets. I’m scared of playing right now. And I have never been scared of football before." Kai shakes again after that confession and Julian wraps the blanket tighter around him.

"That’s normal," Julian says, laying an arm around Kai’s slim shoulders. "I have such periods too."

"But you’re scoring!" Kai objects, "you’re Dortmund’s future!"

"You can be the future of any team you would want to be," Julian answers, stroking Kai’s arm.

"I don’t think so," Kai replies miserably. "Maybe I’m just not a good football player."

"Most of all, you’re a dork," Julian replies softly, tousling Kai’s hair. "You will have better days soon. Also on the pitch."

Kai doesn’t seem to believe Julian because he starts to tremble more vehemently again. Julian places a hand on his forehead. "You’re indeed cold," he states, "you need a warmer blanket and a rest. We should go over to your bedroom."

"Will you stay for a while?" Kai asks with so much hope in his voice that Julian’s heart clenches.

"Of course."

***

Kai crawls under the huge duvet in his bed room but Julian can see that he is still shaking like a leaf in the wind.

"Kai, those days won’t last," he says, turning on the heating. "And you’ll always have your friends who are there for you. No matter what."

"No matter what," Kai echoes from underneath his covers.

"Yes, no matter what," Julian answers firmly. He sits down right next to Kai. "Which club would you prefer?" he asks, "I heard that Bayern is interested in you. Or maybe a team abroad?"

"Dunno," Kai mutters, "I just want to find fun in playing football again."

"You will," Julian says, "at least when we are playing in the national team together."

Finally, Kai manages a little chuckle. "Those are the best matches, with you still beside me."

"Hey, I’m here beside you now as well!" Julian gives Kai a puff, realizing that he is still freezing. "You’re not feeling warmer, do you?" he asks.

Kai shakes his head, gazing at Julian with big eyes. Julian can see Kai’s worries, his fears and his hopes, and in this moment, he makes a decision. "Move to the side," he whispers, folding away the blanket and joining Kai underneath it. "I’ll warm you myself."

Kai doesn’t protest the slightest, he just keeps on looking at Julian with these damn beautiful eyes. "Is it better?" Julian asks after a while, trying not to lose everything right here and now with Kai’s slim body so close to his own.

Kai shakes his head with a strange expression on his face, his gaze still glued to Julian’s, as if he wants to tell him something. Then, out of the blue, Kai turns to his side, facing the wall of his bedroom.

Julian’s blood is thrumming so loudly in his ears that he isn’t sure if he has gotten Kai’s hint right. Carefully, oh so slowly, he crawls closer, turning to the side as well, until his belly is resting at Kai’s back. He doesn’t dare to even breathe because they are so clearly crossing a line here. The line between friendship and much, much more.

Julian can feel that Kai holds his breath as well, that he is still shaking, probably not because he is cold anymore. As gently as he is able to, Julian takes his arm and wraps it around Kai, holding him. The sound that Kai lets out when he feels Julian pulling him closer is nothing else than a sob. "Shh, I have you," Julian mutters unintelligible words into Kai’s ear. "I will never let you go. I’m here."

Eventually, Kai relaxes, melting into the touch. And then he takes Julian’s hand and entangles their fingers. Holding Kai’s hand feels like heaven on earth, Julian thinks, gently caressing Kai’s fingers. They lay like this for a while, trying to deal with their brand-new closeness, until Julian breathes a first, shy kiss upon Kai’s neck. He’s not sure if he is allowed to do that but Kai encourages him immediately.

"Keep doing that, Jule," he whispers, and that’s all Julian needed to hear. He peppers more soft kisses along the line of Kai’s neck, tasting his enticing scent there, feeling his soft skin. Their fingers are still intertwined when Julian moves to Kai’s ear, licking the earlobe, finally whispering into his ear what he wanted to confess to Kai for ages. "I fell in love with you," he breathes, ridiculously relieved that it is finally said.

Kai however doesn’t answer, he lets go of Julian’s fingers, just to turn around, facing him. They drown in each others eyes before Julian makes the next move, taking Kai’s face into his hands.

Their first kiss is even more tender than Julian has imagined it to be all those long months and years. Kai’s lips are incredibly soft and his tongue - his tongue is overwhelming. Kai does all the things with it that Julian has always dreamed of, and much more. So much more.

"You’re kissing me senseless," Julian whispers between two kisses just to feel Kai’s mouth again in the very next second. They are so hungry, so desperate to sense the other one that it hurts.

In between more kisses, Kai stops. "I’ve never done this before," he admits.

"Neither have I," Julian replies. "We’ll take our time." He feels that kissing is more than enough for the moment although he is so eager to explore Kai’s body.

But for now, he just wants to hold Kai - and tell him with his mind, his soul and his body that he will always be there for him. Through the good times and the bad. Gently, Julian seals his promise with a kiss, just to hear the most important sentence he has ever heard in his entire life.  
  
"I fell in love with you too, Jule."


End file.
